Thornhill at the Movies

I'll admit it. I love to go to see big, dumb action films. On certain weekends, Joel Silver calls me to the local multiplex to watch his latest offering. I go to big, dumb action films for the stunts, for the action, for the testosterone. "3000 Miles To Graceland", the new film starring Kevin Costner and Kurt Russell, is not produced by Joel Silver, but I hoped it would provide me with a Joel Silver fix.

 

Michael Zane (Kurt Russell) has just been released from prison. He drives into a fleabag motel on the outskirts of the desert and immediately hooks up with a single mom, Cybil (Courteney Cox), living in the motel. Soon, Thomas J. Murphy (Kevin Costner) drives up with three other thugs. Zane and Murphy shared a cell together. They are planning to rob the Riviera Casino in Las Vegas. The hook? The Riviera is hosting an Elvis Impersonator Convention and they will all dress like Elvis and use that as a cover. Murphy brings Hanson (Christian Slater), Gus (David Arquette) and Franklin (Bokeem Woodbine) along for the ride. The heist proceeds and they run into complications.

 

There are a lot of problems with "3000 Miles", so many that the movie is ultimately a disaster. Kurt Russell is actually a very underrated actor. He has made some solid, very satisfying films in the last few years. "Breakdown" was a very underrated suspense film. However, I don't think "3000 Miles" will be a film that he wants to remember for very long. He tries, very hard, to eke out some moments of drama and tenderness as he tries to develop a relationship with Cybil and her son. Russell is a fine actor, but the writing is not there. These scenes feel almost as though they were tacked on as an afterthought.

 

Kevin Costner plays a murderous psychopath, the first time he has attempted a character such as this since "A Perfect World", directed by Clint Eastwood. Considering the success he has had playing this type of character, he should probably stick to playing heroes. Wait! Considering the success he has had playing heroes lately, perhaps he should stick to… something that doesn't involve acting. Costner owes me for the three plus hours I spent watching "Wyatt Earp", for the two plus hours I spent watching "Waterworld".

 

Christian Slater, Bokeem Woodbine, David Arquette, Howie Long, Jon Lovitz and Ice-T all pop up for short cameos. The relative stardom of each of these people can be debated, but the purpose of any of these people doing what amounts to a cameo should be that they create a memorable character. Sorry, doesn't happen.

 

The casino heist is actually very early in the film and rather quick. No time is spent detailing their preparations and when the heist begins it almost appears as though no planning went into the execution. The heist is also very bloody. I have no problem with violence in films, as long as it makes sense in the course of the story. Each of the participants waves their guns around, shooting anything and everything in sight, glass and mirrors erupting. They are clearly not aiming at anything and therefore demolish the area around them. "3000 Miles" has gratuitous violence, which I do have a problem with.

 

After the heist, the film eventually becomes a road picture. Again, not much makes sense during this part of the film.

 

The director, a first-timer, cross cuts the casino heist with endless shots of showgirls and Elvis impersonators. This is, I think, supposed to be cutting edge. This was cutting edge in the 60s, when the real Elvis was making horrible excuses for films simply so he could generate new hit songs.

 

Ultimately, everything in the film equals nothing and I doubt that you would enjoy catching this film on cable, for free, in the middle of the night, when nothing else is on.

 

No Stars